A Poem of Proper Introduction (Or, APOPI if you prefer)

I don't know why you'd prefer APOPI to the real title. It's hard to type, not at all catchy, and honestly a little much on the old acronym scale. But I had to provide it, just in case it needed to be typed again in the proceeding poem. Here's as much as I can say about myself without giving away my true, non superhero identity:

Born of grass and prairie splendor,
Soon i'm going to need a lender,
From out West I came out East,
For love of woman, dog and beast,
Her name it rhymes with hay and bay,
But the english find it hard to say,
The dog is named from a ships part,
Lets hope he floats, the little fart.

Well folks, there you have it. Everything you needed to know about me, all in a neat little poem. Beautiful in it's simplicity, marvelous in it's clarity, like a fish in it's swimmingly good nature. Like a dream on the back of a unicorn hunting an abominable snowman just outside of Winnipeg-- oh yes, oh yes.

So, for today anyway, I must leave this post to be short and sweet. Or short and bitter. Or long and bitter and totally uninformative! BROO HAHA!

No, but seriously, as some as you may have already guessed, i'm actually Jay's loving boyfriend/husband/guy. I decided to try out this blogging business, since I am in fact nearly twice as goofy as she is, almost 60% of the time. My dog is the loving, very cute, but deathly vicious... Ankor. He's the cutest dog alive, and so smart.

Now, to go find myself a job...

Whatever Blows Your Skirt Up

You know, a couple of years ago I would have never believed that I would move across the country. I'm a bit of a homebody, and always have been really-- I like small towns, I like slow living, and I like not having to fight with traffic every day to go get my slushies. Now, odds against odds, I have found myself in a new province, in a city no less, with NO SLUSHIES. It's a terrible fate that has befallen me at the moment-- but I lie in the bed I made I suppose. Sigh. If only it was a bed that had the occasional coke slushie. 

Though, slushies in bed are not always desirable. For instance, what if my dog was to jump up on the bed while I was not paying attention, and the slushie fell over onto my sheets! Then it would be all full of ice, and coke, and he would be trying to lick it up, and my sheets would be ruined, and I would be cold, which, lets face it, is perhaps the biggest tragedy of all. However, I digress.

I'm a small town Saskatchewan guy that recently moved out to Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. I'm writing the blog because I have a wealth of random knowledge to share with the world, and frustrations, and heck, even the occasional story I suppose. It's what I do for a living really-- so why not start the blog off right.

The title of this post is "Whatever Blows Your Skirt Up", which, when first read, probably incites a lot of fainting and thinking that this blog will be somehow adult in content. It will not in fact be any such things. Bring out the smelling salts, wake up your grandma, and tell her the story of why I chose this title for my first blog post.

Believe it or not, the saying is actually one from my youth. It was equivalent to such jovial sayings as 'whatever turns your crank', 'whatever milks the cow', and 'you're the boss'. However, unlike most of my Saskatchewanisms, I didn't make this one up! I actually got told this years ago, as I had a rather serious conversation with a very non-serious ex-girlfriend, that was known to do bareback bronc riding in the rodeo. (Have you ever rode a bull? I did, very shortly after we started dating). Anyway, I reacted much the same way as all of the faint of heart readers almost certainly did-- I thought that it sounded dirty. In fact, it was a very country way of saying 'whatever floats your boat'.

So, the moral of this story is this: please, if you like my blog, feel free to comment and read and laugh and shake your head at my crazy ramblings. If you don't like it, please don't leave angry-- i'm a meat loving, small town adoring, prairies have the most beautiful sunset believing man that only wants everyone to get along. 

And in lieu of that, I would also accept a large Coke Slushie. World peace is good, but lets face it, slushies are great.